Ugh, even the thought of you having a fear makes me shiver. I just want to wrap my arms around you and tell you that everything will be ok, the truth is that they will go away and everything will work out only if you take some actions to make them go away. Most times our fears will never become a reality however we give them so much energy and attention we make them a problem in our life.
Fear has been known to hold many of us back from our dreams or even just going out to get what we want in life. Some fears are actually productive and can bring us to a safe zone when necessary. They call this physical fear. Let’s say you’re walking down a dark alley and have a negative feeling someone is about to attack you, immediately your fight or flight instincts kick in and you run like crazy to get the heck out of there and into safety. Another type of fear is called Emotional Fear. Emotional fear is what we tap into to feel the fear and do it anyway or become frozen by the emotion of fear, allowing it to take control over our decision making skill to push through and preserve to achieve what we set our mind to accomplish.
As a little girl, I often had bad dreams of monsters chasing me. My mother suggested instead of running away from the monster face the monster and run toward it to see what would happen. Once my mind understood that I could take control of the game and chase him or what I call now is, meet him at the front door and look him in the eye. I recall when I finally found the courage to face my fear it no longer took control of me.
Although I was a child having a bad dream I still use that same technique to face real life fears. Evaluate your fears to identify if your fueling them giving them more energy and taking you further from your desires or are you on your fears and behaviors that aren’t serving your life for the greater good, then you will gain clarity of how you want your life to look like without fear.
Here are a few steps to debunk the fears and turn fear into performance:
Embrace your Emotions: When you have feelings of resistance, anger, frustrations, sadness, or even the feeling of being stuck its time to identify and embrace your emotions. Evaluate what’s happening within you and how your thoughts are creating behaviors that are causing you to have self-defeat and lack of action to achieve your goals. A client, Samantha was telling me that she has a fear of flying and it’s putting a big stress on her job because her boss wants her to fly for work but she gets anxiety each time she gets on a plane and sometimes even the days leading up to getting on the plane are extremely stressful. Her fear of flying is causing her have anxiety attacks, putting off work travel assignments, her job is at risk, not to mention that she refuses to travel on a plane for family vacations and its having a negative impact on her kids.
Time To Take Control: Once you have identified what the fear is and how it has caused you to change your behavior holding you back from living out your life, you can now clearly see that it an emotional fear and not a physical fear causing you to run because your life is in danger. Lets go back to Samantha’s resistance to traveling for work; Samantha noticed her fear of flying began after 9/11 world trade center attacks. We discussed that there has not been attack for over 15 years but the fear continues to take over her actions. She agreed and wants to be able to get on a plane without anxiety. What she really wants is to have the freedom and excitement, exploring new locations for work and pleasure.
Break it down: Now that you have decided that you no longer want to live with this fear lets break it down to what is really going on and how it got to be so big that it caused you to change your behavior. This will give you a much clearer perspective of how you can handle the fear or emotion moving forward in your life.
Start by asking yourself: Why am I afraid of _______ (you fill in the blank with your fear)
Because why? Once you answer the question ask yourself again because why.
If you continue to break it down you will find the fear probably has come from a childhood situation or something that has happened to you. The likely hood of it ever happening again are few and far between giving you back the freedom to live your life with less fear and the invigorating feeling of taking back control of the part of your life that you thought you had lost forever.
Imagine the life you will live when you debunk your fears and discover how you can gain absolute control to live your life and follow your dreams. Today is the best day to regain your happiness and live your life.
If you need more help debunking your fears schedule an Ignite your Magnificence Free 20 min Session with me so we can set a plan to free yourself from fears and turn them into a powerful action plan.